Growing up in Louisiana in the 1970’s meant you could take drivers education at the age of 14. My best friend and I decided to take the course together. During a driving exercise, I approached a stop sign, looked both ways to confirm nothing coming, and then proceeded through the intersection having come to about a 99% stop. The instructor barked at me to pull the car over. I glided to the edge of the road and put it in park. The instructor gave me a speech about coming to a complete stop, then ordered me to march back to the stop sign and apologize for running it. I’m sure I had that “Whatchoo talkin’ ’bout, Willis” look on my face (quote from the character Arnold from the then popular Diff’rent Strokes sitcom.) One voice in my head was saying, “That’s ridiculous! I will not do such a thing.” The other voice was rebutting, “He did say we were not moving from that spot until I do. Plus, he has the power to fail me.” So I exited the vehicle and slinked the half block until I was staring up at the towering street sign. I was not about to utter the suggested line, “I’m sorry, Mr. Stop Sign, for running you.” However my lips were visibly moving as a griped about being asked to lower myself to such a level. After a few moments of muttering, I returned to the car and we finished the tour. Later, my friend filled me in and the conversation happening in the vehicle in my absence. My friend told the instructor, “He isn’t going to apologize to the sign.” The instructor replied, “I know.” So, I didn’t, and he knew I didn’t, but we all had to go through the dance to satisfy everyone’s ego.
How do I feel about Coronavirus, quarantine, re-opening guidelines and the instructions free falling randomly from an assortment of authoritative figures? I feel like I’m staring at a street sign again, trying to figure out how to comply without lowering myself to levels I am uncomfortable stooping to.
You may say, “But Keith, the instructor was only trying to save future lives by teaching you to come to a complete stop safely. It was for your safety and the safety of those around you and the general population and stuff. Did I mention ‘safety’ and ‘save lives'”. I get it. I really do. I have other thoughts on safety I will share at another time. As for now, if you see me struggling with taking the “pandemic” as seriously as you, have a little patience with me. It isn’t any easier for me to participate in a street sign apology.
